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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29788839">Hope</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/alilypea/pseuds/ALilyPea'>ALilyPea (alilypea)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Reformation and Relief [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 03:13:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,124</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29788839</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/alilypea/pseuds/ALilyPea</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Just because he and Eddie are together now doesn't mean that Buck's doubts or fears will fade away.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Reformation and Relief [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2189637</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>161</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Hope</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I thought I was done with these two and their story. Nope. Apparently not, they insisted. </p>
<p>Contains some conflicting thoughts for Buck. He wants, but is unsure how much Eddie does.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Are you okay?” Eddie asked him, not for the first time that day, hell, not even for the first time that hour. His hand is linked with Buck’s, their fingers laced together, his thumb stroking the back of Buck’s hand.</p>
<p>They’ve been together for about a month, and a part of Buck is surprised at how little has changed. He still spends only a quarter of his time off at home, the rest at Eddie’s, though now he doesn’t sleep on the couch. They kissed now, of course, but had hardly gone farther than that. Shouldn’t there be more? Was Eddie just biding his time until he could leave? Until he could find someone better?</p>
<p>“Buck,” Eddie’s brow was furrowed now, and it was clear that he’d been trying to get Buck’s attention for a while now. “Where’d you go?”</p>
<p>“Sorry,” Buck shifted and slipped his hand out of Eddie’s, rubbing the back of his neck. “Was off in my own little world,” he admitted smiling when Eddie tugged him closer and wrapped his arms around him. He could enjoy this even if it were temporary, right?</p>
<p>“This world isn’t good enough for you?” Eddie shifted them both easily; their bodies now stretched along the couch, Buck on top of Eddie.</p>
<p>“Well, now it definitely is,” Buck joked, moving around to make sure none of their sharper parts were digging into each other. “I never thought you’d be like this.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?” Eddie asked, his hand rubbing up and down Buck’s back, leaving warmth in its wake.</p>
<p>“Uhm,” Buck paused for a moment, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth; he figured he’d just go for it. “I didn’t think you’d be cuddly, not like this.”</p>
<p>“Buck,” Eddie’s voice was filled with amusement. “I have a kid,” he slipped his hand under Buck’s shirt, pressing it to his back.</p>
<p>“Cuddling a kid is a little different than cuddling your boyfriend,” Buck laughed softly.</p>
<p>“Really? You mean you and Christopher aren’t the same size,” Eddie feigned surprise. “Somehow, he takes up more room.”</p>
<p>Buck snorted then laughed again. “He does, doesn’t he?” He leaned up, brushing a kiss along his cheek. “I meant with a partner..”</p>
<p>“I wasn’t like this with Shannon,” Eddie admitted, playing with the fine hairs at the base of Buck’s neck, then a curl or two.</p>
<p>Buck took a deep breath in; closing his eyes, he couldn’t pinpoint which emotion was ruling at the moment. Affection or misery? He didn’t want to make Eddie do something; he didn’t want to just to make him happy.</p>
<p>“You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to,” Buck played with the material of Eddie’s shirt. He didn’t want to move, though, didn’t want to lose his warmth.</p>
<p>“I didn’t want to be like this with her,” Eddie clarified, then pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “I did love her,” the words were matter of fact, “but so much of being with her felt like it was just something I had to do. I had to marry her because she was pregnant; we had to stay together because of Chris.” His hand continued stroking up and down Buck’s back as he spoke, almost as though he didn’t even realize he was doing it.</p>
<p>“And with me?” Buck was almost afraid to ask, not wanting to hear about obligation or what Eddie thought he should be like.</p>
<p>“Being close to you is as natural as breathing,” Eddie replied and smiled when Buck looked at him. “I like it because I think you need it, and I think I do too,” his words were hesitant, as though he was waiting for judgment.</p>
<p>“Wow,” Buck murmured, his heart in his throat. “Did you learn that from Frank?”</p>
<p>Eddie laughed; the sound was slightly relieved. “Partly, I never want Chris to feel like he can’t talk to me or tell me how he feels, and I never want you to either.”</p>
<p>“Wow,” Buck repeated and pushed himself up so he could look down at Eddie. He couldn’t even begin to figure out what he was feeling or thinking right then. “You’re something else, Eddie Diaz.”</p>
<p>Eddie smiled at him, his face lighting up as he did. “Something else? I thought I was yours?”</p>
<p>Buck shook his head, cracking a smile as he planted his hand on the arm of the couch and leaned down to kiss him. He wouldn’t have been able to stop himself even if he’d wanted to.</p>
<p>Eddie stirred under him, shifting to deepen the kiss, his hands gripping Buck’s waist as he did so. He tilted his head slightly, mouth opening under Buck’s.</p>
<p>Buck sank into the kiss with a low moan as he got his first taste of Eddie. God, how did this suddenly feel so good? He nibbled at Eddie’s bottom lip, relishing the moan he received in response. He didn’t get much of a warning and yelped when the world spun, and suddenly he was beneath Eddie, not that he was complaining.</p>
<p>Eddie nudged Buck’s head to the side, kissing him there then scraping his teeth along Buck’s skin.</p>
<p>“Fuck,” the curse slid off Buck’s tongue with ease, and he realized just how little his pyjama pants hid.</p>
<p>Shuddering, Eddie moved again, against him this time, gasping against his neck. “Ev,” he murmured, his hands sliding under Buck’s shirt, pushing it up.<br/>

“Eddie,” Buck gasped, then cleared his throat. This wasn’t the time. “Eddie,” his voice came out more assertive this time, and he cringed when all of Eddie’s muscles tensed, and he sat up slowly, straddling Buck’s side.</p>
<p>Eddie avoided his gaze at first, then met his eyes with a hesitancy that made Buck ache in an entirely different way. “What?” And there it as, the defiance in those dark eyes, that spark. A challenge.</p>
<p>“I want you,” Buck declared, waiting for Eddie’s composure to crack slightly before he continued. “But I don’t want our first time seeing each other like that to be on your couch when Carlos and Chris could walk in at any minute and when we’re both on call.”</p>
<p>Nodding, Eddie leaned down and kissed him before crawling off him. “Okay, I can respect that; just don’t think you need to wine and dine me either; you’ve had this in the bank for a while.”</p>
<p>Buck grinned as he sat up and adjusted himself under Eddie’s watchful eye, cheeks flushed. “I’ve had you in one kind of bank since day one,” he wiggled his eyebrows.</p>
<p>Eddie shoved him off the couch, grinning when Buck squawked. “Who knew my partner was so dirty?”</p>
<p>“Really, you should know me by now,” Buck stretched out on the floor, chuckling. Maybe it would last.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know leaving comments can be daunting. If you liked this, and enjoyed reading it, even leaving a little 💛 in the comments can make my day.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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